“How do you always stay so positive?” It’s a question I get asked daily! Naturally I am a pretty positive person, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have challenges and really tough days! I’m no expert, but when I find myself struggling, I go back to these few simple practices that really help shift my mindset and focus and change your mood! I hope they can help you too!
Control What You Consume:
Especially now, I’m writing this in 2020 in the midst of a global pandemic, protests and a contentious election, a simple scroll of social media or news channels can quickly become overwhelming. But YOU control what you consume, so take back the control!! That doesn’t mean stick your head in the sand, but it does mean don’t sit for hours and let it consume you!
I watch the news in the morning or evening for 10-20 minutes and scroll my feed over coffee…then I put it away!!! I’m relatively informed but not drowning in the negativity and all that is “bad” in the world! Set a timer, and then once time is up you have to walk away and focus on something positive, or your day is wasted. I don’t believe anyone can be productive or show up as their best self while being bogged down with the constant negativity they are consuming.
You Are Who You Hangout With:
If you are a mom to little ones I get that’s a hard translation, but think about the adults you are around; who do you spend time with, who do you text or talk to on the phone daily, who’s content do you consume?? Are they positive, uplifting people, or do you leave an interaction feeling worse about yourself or your current situation? That doesn’t mean you disown your negative family member, but it does help you steer those conversations away from the negative when they happen instead of being sucked in!
If you are aware, you can recognize it! What about a group text or feed you are in? Are they people excited about life and chasing goals, or are they talking about how bad life and business are? You are who you surround yourself with, so if you are the most positive and motivated person in your group, yes you can be that light for them, but you also need to find a group that motivates and inspires YOU! This is also a challenge to recognize and leave some of those groups that are not serving you. The decision is hard, but YOU and your mental health and growth should be a PRIORITY! YOU ARE WORTH IT!
Move Your Body And Get Some Fresh Air:
I know when you are not feeling your best or excited about life, finding the energy to exercise or just move your body daily seems near impossible. But remember this Brendon Burchard quote:
“The power plant does not have the energy. It generates it!”
You are the power plant. You have to move to start the process to create the energy to move again. It starts with YOU! The endorphins released help in the short and long term with happiness!
Make the promise to move daily…just 30 minutes! Start there, go for a walk with your dog, play tag with your kids, do a quick, free workout you find on YouTube in your living room! These can be free and not take much time…just do them and don’t break that promise to yourself! It will become a habit and YOU will see and feel the long term effects on your health and mood!
And in between those 30 minute sessions, if you are overwhelmed, anxious or just not feeling yourself step away from your phone, computer, put down the work and take 10 minutes and walk outside! I call these “re-FRESH sessions”! Ten minutes out in the fresh air, no distractions, take some slow deep breathes, close your eyes if you need to really refocus your thoughts. I know it sounds silly, but I SWEAR BY THIS! A mentor challenged me to start this practice several months ago when I was drowning in to do lists and felt like so much was on my shoulders and it works!!! The fresh air, the change of scenery, the movement even just walking down my road or in the yard those ten minutes helps me refocus and go back to my lists and responsibilities READY to tackle them not dreading the rest of the day.
Get Rest & Drink Water:
Since you are moving, let’s add in two more easy things - drink water (at least half your body weight in ounces daily) and get at least 7 hours of sleep each night! The majority of the country is walking around daily severely dehydrated and TIRED! We NEED the water to perform at our best and we need sleep so our bodies can recover and show up again the next day!!
Set your alarm to remind yourself to drink water, take electronics out of your bedroom, and make it a point to be in bed by a certain time. If you get to bed late, you get up late, miss your workout, and feel behind all day! Help yourself by planning ahead and making it a priority to get the rest and the water your body needs, so tomorrow will be the best it can be!
Focus On What You Can Control:
I can’t control what happens around me or what challenges I will face, but I can control how I react! I get mad and frustrated and hurt just like anyone else, but I have learned not to dwell on it! I allow myself 5 minutes in the BMW (B*tch, Moan and Whine 🤣). I can be upset and feel sorry for myself, essentially taking that pity party for a spin, but I CANNOT refuel the tank or go on a cross-country trip in that space! We all know people who get stuck on how someone wronged them and they can’t get past it; they are renewing that lease on negativity!!
YOU can learn from the experience, find positivity in that challenge and focus on what YOU can control which is how YOU will go FORWARD! Having a bad day or been dealt a rough hand? Take the keys, go for a “spin” around the block, write it in a journal, call your best friend! DO NOT post it on social media, then you become the negativity someone else is consuming! BUT do get it off your chest, then make a positive plan for what YOU do next!
What I Know Is True:
At the end of the day, reading too much into… “you know, they say” or “I heard this bad thing” is never good for your mental health! Who’s they? And why do “they” get to consume your thoughts or outlook on the future? They don’t, unless you LET them!
As a business owner I had many people doubt me when I started, tell me I should NOT do this, ask me what I would do if I failed. They researched and shared articles with me out of “concern”, but I knew I couldn’t let other’s insecurities or issues affect MY future - even if coming from a place of love!
Whenever I have challenges or uncertainty, I focus on WHAT I KNOW IS TRUE! What I know is true is I trust my gut, I love what I do, and I am continuing to set and achieve even bigger goals than I ever imagined because I didn’t dwell on the what-if’s! I focused on what I know is true, the effort I could put in, and the passion I have. Putting my focus there energizes my efforts and keeps my mind excited and positive about the future - not paralyzed by doubts! This is one of my favorite sayings:
“Don’t let someone in the cheap seats have a front row opinion in your life!”
And Finally BUY the Dang Flowers for YOURSELF:
Maybe flowers aren’t your thing, but do something weekly that’s just for YOU! Maybe that’s treating yourself to a pedicure or a Starbucks drink and mindless walking through target with no kids 🤣🙌 I’m sure you can tell that is a favorite of mine!! Maybe for you it is a nap or time with a good book - whatever that is for you… DO IT!
I love fresh flowers, but one day I got to wondering why do I wait for Valentines or my anniversary or birthday to enjoy them when someone else bought them? So I started buying them for MYSELF because they make ME happy! Every Costco trip it’s the best $14.99 I spend! Start a jar that is a little FUN money just for YOU. Save for it and enjoy whatever it is that makes YOU happy! The flowers are an instant mood boost for me! If it makes you HAPPY, it’s good for your outlook and mental health!
Do me a favor - SMILE and take some time for YOU! If you do, not only will you feel better and more positive but you can also show up better for those around you, improving their happiness as well! It’s a win-win but it has to start with YOU!
I hope this was helpful!! Cheers to more great days and looking for the positive all around us!